Let's clear up common misconceptions and define what truly helpful feedback looks like
We need to define what we actually mean by feedback, because not all feedback is created equal.
"If we never learn to take something apart, test the assumptions, and reconstruct it, we end up trapped in what other people tell us — trapped in the way things have always been done."
– FS
A lot of concepts that appear to be feedback are not helpful to our development — or at least, not on their own. Let's debunk some common myths.
Let's separate fact from fiction
Hard no. We should see opportunities for feedback in everyday life. A good performance review will include feedback, but they're not the same thing. Feedback should be continuous, not annual.
Some of the most useful feedback focuses on what went right, so you can repeat it. In systems thinking, this is called a reinforcing feedback loop, and it leads to exponential growth!
Most feedback says more about the giver than the receiver. It's shaped by their experiences and worldview. Take what value you can, ask clarifying questions, and decide what's worth keeping. Seek feedback from people you trust and admire.
See myth #3! Trying to work on too many areas at once is overwhelming and ineffective. Consider all feedback carefully, then decide which insights are truly worth acting on. Quality over quantity.
Absolutely not. At work, at home, in relationships, even at a restaurant that gave you poor service — every part of life offers opportunities for feedback. The skills transfer across all contexts.
Any information you receive about the impact of your actions is feedback. Sometimes no response at all is feedback. Being open to subtle and indirect feedback helps you learn faster and more comprehensively.
Now that you understand what feedback really is (and isn't), learn practical strategies for embracing it as a catalyst for growth.